am sure that I am not alone in the fact that I have a large army of
demons in my head. These demons are always talking to me and trying to
advise me about how to react to different situations. For many years I
listened and took their advice, these years were not exactly happy ones
and I have now come to realise that these demons are not my friends but
are actually my enemy.
I had many issues in my life that had a
negative affect on my levels of self-esteem. The demons used these
issues to get to me and to play their mind games. For this article, I am
going to describe my stuttering demons and how I eventually destroyed
them. The advice can be used for whatever type of demon you may have.
At
the age of four, I developed a stutter which would continue to affect
my speech for the next eighteen years of my life. I was aware of what I
could and could not say and was also aware of the social situations in
which I was more likely to stutter.
If I was asked a question by
for example a friend, I would think of the answer but before I would
have a chance to say it, a voice would appear. This voice or what I call
my demons would advise me not to say that word and to substitute it for
a different word.
If I was invited out to say a party, my
demons would advise me not to go, as there would be a lot of people
there that I did not know. They would remind me that I found it
difficult talking to people which I did not know.
At one stage in
my life, I decided that I wanted a career change as I was not happy in
the role that I was in. My demons reminded me, that to find alternative
employment meant going through the whole interview process again. They
continued that I had always struggled to talk fluently at interviews,
due to the pressure factor.
I would be able to speak quite well when I was drunk and this is when I
would have the confidence to talk to the ladies. On several occasions a
woman has given me their phone number and I would tell them that I would
call them to arrange a night out. The next day though, when sober, the
demons would remind me that making a phone call is what I find the
hardest form of speech task and to simply not bother.
As
previously stated, I used to listen to these demons and suffice it to
say I did not go on my first date until I was eighteen years of age.
Things
had to and were about to change. After reading many self-help books, I
realised what I had been doing wrong. I should not be listening to these
demons, in fact what I need to do is the opposite of what they tell me.
Steve don't go to that party, OK then I will. Steve don't phone that
lady up, OK I will, etc.
I am not trying to say that this is easy
to do. I am happy to say that I have eradicated my speech demons and am
now fluent, however I do still have demons in other areas of my life.
There are not nearly as many as there have been in the past and I am
slowly hopefully killing them all.
I treat it like a war. There
are many battles and I have to say that I do not win them all. I talk to
my demons all the time and especially when they win one of these type
battles. I tell them that they may have won this particular battle but
that I will win the overall war.
You may possibly think that I
am a bit of a freak after reading this article. I frankly do not care, I
am happier now than I have ever been.
Good luck in your quest to improve your own life.
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